Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
