i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
