And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
