Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
