Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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