i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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