no. you can't hotbox the world.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
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Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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