went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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