So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
