If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
