he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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