Pants 0. Shit 1.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
