dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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