just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
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We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
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Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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