Got a toothbrush?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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