i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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