Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So vagazzling was a success
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
