I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
