You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
