you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm getting married
To pizza
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
