john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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