After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
