omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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