her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
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i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
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It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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