sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
