Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
