She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
