so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
