I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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