Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
