Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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