maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I currently don't understand fingers.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
