don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
