this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
