dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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