I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
