That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Drunk is not a location!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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