we're blogging at a bar
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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