we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
