maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Send help, water and tortillas.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
