Umm I'm too high to move.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Randomize
