he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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