what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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