Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
