found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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