i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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