I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Holy shit dude........stairs
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize