my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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