dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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