I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
