how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
worst night to have a conscience
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
