and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
