Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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