am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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