Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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