it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
