I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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