I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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