Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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