can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
