Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
