R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
