Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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