what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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