Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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