just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
