You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
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This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
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We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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