Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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