He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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