Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
They took my balls.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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