Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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